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  • Where do I collect my Ten Grand? - Albert Collins.

    Have a go at this.
    Some plonker gets turpsed at work to the point of pissing in his bin, and somehow his employer has to cough up $10,000 for sacking him? What the?
    I’ve never admitted this before folks, but, once I did the same thing. Now I want my money.
    It was 1993 and I was touring with blues legend Albert Collins.
    Albert Collins
    The Master of the Telecaster, Albert Collins.

    The last night of the tour was at Balmain RSL and was huge. We couldn’t load out that night & that usually means hitting the turps in a big way. Well, I must admit to having one or two refreshing ales that night and ended up back at the hotel quite maggoted. In a startling replay of that famous “one day you’re gunna get caught with your pants down” advertisement, I got up in the middle of the night for a slash. To say I was still under the influence and slightly dissoriented would be an understatment. I managed to open the wrong door and locked myself out of the room, drunk as a skunk, busting for a piss and only dressed in my undies.

    I tried banging on the door to wake up my youngest brother who I was sharing the room with, but to no avail so off I staggered along the hall looking for a toilet. No toilets anywhere but what about this convenient bin? It was probably the longest piss of my life. I think I went close to filling it.
    Now I had to try and get back into my room as being found asleep in the hallway next to a bin full of piss would not be good. I knocked and banged continuously for about 5 minutes when I managed to wake my other brother in the next room. “What the fuck are you doing?” he yelled.
    “7$!@$&nhq8&%@)!!” I replied as I collapsed onto the spare bed.

    The loadout the next morning was a very slow one indeed.
    Update:
    If you’d like a taste of how Albert & The Icebreakers sounded then try this album, Live 92/93, which was recorded later on that same tour. It’s an absolute beauty.



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