Here is a classic road story from Craig “Lumpy” Martin.
It was 1991/2 and the band America were touring Australia. It was a A1 Audio gig. The tour started well and was on whole not a bad tour. Lots of driving and days off did not figure in the tour schedule or the book of lies as it became known. The Tour went for three weeks or so. The band brought with them there own FOH Guy( Buck i think) and the professor doing stage. The tour is going well and everybody is have a fine time except for the FOH Guy. Every day the rider would turn up and there would be a stack of beetroot on it. This pissed the FOH guy off and he complained bitterly to anybody whom would listen.
The last to shows of the tour were Newcastle Leagues followed by Ingleburn RSL. The show in Newcastle goes well and the band hang around and deal with the liggers and schmoozers. When the ligging and schmoozing has finished the band jump into their bus and head back to Sydney. We finish the load out about 40 minutes after the band had left. Jump in the car and try to break the world land speed record for the fastest trip from Newcastle to the Manzil or was it Springfields then? (bit shady on that)
Anyway as we approach the bridge at the Hawkesbury River there are hazard lights in the distance. As we approach the flashing lights it is the bands bus. We pull up to check if everyone is ok. No problems except the band is trying to pull rank and want the crew to stay with the bus and give them the tarago. Needless to say this did not happen. Any way this act of boldness on the bands behalf meant the the last night of the tour would have to be one to remember. Load in for the Ingleburn gig was the usual 2.00pm. As mentioned before the FOH guy was well and truly pissed off at seeing beetroot on the rider every night. On the way to load in we stopped at the supermarket and purchased 4×5kg cans of beetroot. Upon arriving at the gig the beetroot was delivered to the kitchen of the club and was asked to be delivered to the band room on platters when the rider was delivered.
During the load in we discovered the the club had its own a full size stuffed horse. The horse would become the star of the show. Ok so we have this horse mounted on to dolleys ( bottom of wedge cases I think) and the horse is masked off backstage between the back curtain legs and the cyc. There is a clear passage that runs directly behind the drummer, is about 6 ft wide and has a rope running from the horse on one side of the stage to the Audio tech on the other side. The last song of the set was horse with no name. As the band played the intro, the lights we dimmed and the special rigged early in the day was slowly coming up where the horse was due to appear. Just as the light starts to appear, the head of the horse pokes out from between the curtain. The band keeps playing away and the crowd start to notice the horse at the rear of the stage. As the song goes on more and more of the horse is revealed. As the horse is almost fully revealed the crowd is now point and yell at the band to turn around. The drummer was the first to turn, as he turned and saw a full size horse with frank in big back gaff letters on it, making it’s way across the stage, he totally lost it closely followed by the rest of the band. That was the end of the show and the tour. Upon arriving back in the band room after the show, the rider was being delivered. The look on the FOH guys face as he open platter after platter of beetroot was priceless. When all the crew were back in the band room for post gig refreshments, they informed the crew that nobody had ever used a full size stuffed horse to stuff them up. The also asked way we call the horse Frank, that was easy they rode Frank all the way to the bank.
That’s all for now, more as the memory fades back.
Craig Martin.
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